Reaching Orgasm, in the Right Context

Ryan M

If there’s one other thing as guaranteed as death and taxes, it’s that we’re all different. Science has confirmed that from studying our DNA, even if it is at most a 1 percent difference. From our likes and dislikes, to our own personalized quirks, desires, and erotic fantasies, no two people are alike. The more we learn about ourselves, the more we realize how true that is.

Take sex, for example. What may give one person pleasure, may give another person pain, or have no effect at all. And how about the orgasm? Why do you come one time from an act of pleasure and not the following time from that same act?

According to a recent survey of more than 2,000 participants conducted by, the chances that someone would orgasm during sex vary based upon gender, sexuality, and even context. Yes, context.

“Ultimately, an orgasm is an orgasm. Humans are social creatures, and some people may enjoy orgasms more during partnered sex since they appreciate the connection with another person and the benefits that come along with that, “says Dr. Rose Hartzell, PhD, EdS. “Others may prefer orgasms that they have by themselves since they don’t have to worry about how they look or what they do or think about to bring on the orgasm.”

Consider the context, or scenario. For those people who crave the excitement and spontaneity of the unknown, a one night stand may culminate with a fireworks finale, while that same person in a relationship, may have to fake it.  This dynamic may cause challenges for someone who’s in a sex routine that’s as predictable as the next iPhone launch.

From a psychological perspective, the one night stand may be intensely more enjoyable because there’s no fear of judgement or care about how that person reacts to your sounds or the way your body looks at that angle. The fact that you don’t know the person may allow you to relax and enjoy, while the person for which you feel a sense of comfort or love, may inadvertently prohibit you from letting go. That same fear of judgement may also cause someone to only orgasm from masturbation since personal pleasure lacks any outside observers.

On the contrary, people who can only reach orgasm when there’s a personal connection may have their goal of finishing entirely washed away with a random partner. For these hopeless romantics, sex with someone they know and respect are the elements that elevate them to the peak of sexual satisfaction, thanks to an experience that's in a context they understand and embrace, with open...legs.

Though we may be 99 percent alike, it’s that mere 1 percent of DNA that makes us humans who we are. It's fascinating to think about our differences, but one thing we can agree upon is that we like sex. Why not enjoy it as much as possible?

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